To a dear friend
August 24, 2008, feeling complacent.
Hey~ sorry about this morning (well, nighttime for you). I had some time to think about it, and well, I still can't really think of anything good to say. What I will say below is only my opinion, and I am not asking you to believe in it, but it's all that I can think of. Oh, and as a warning, it might be a bit influenced by Buddhist thought since I'm hearing/reading quite a bit with Buddhist influence (my parents are Buddhist), but don't worry, I'm not asking you to go worship Buddha or anything LOL (Buddhism doesn't have a God anyway). Oh, and some parts are in Chinese, because sometimes I feel that writing in Chinese just works better (largely affected I think, by having just finished a romance novel in Chinese) but sorry about my poor command of the langauge! =P
It's a bit (very) long, so no rush to reply la~ And if there's anything that you dun understand, please feel free to email me la~ Ehm, and since it's so long, to summarise, motivations for you to stop being upset over him:
- It is better for him if you stop crying over this.
- Life is too precious; don't waste it on this.
- Don't let love turn to hate.
OK, so...
Do you love him? Let's assume that you do.
就算你問我 "愛是甚麼" 我也不知該怎麼回答. 我覺得我自己還沒有真正遇上愛, 所以我可能根本沒有資格 discuss love. 其實你比我更多資格 to talk about it, don't you think?
So I can only give you my opinion on this, and it is in no way, I believe, the only "right" opinion.
To me, 愛情最難受的並不是單戀, 而是不能為對方做到甚麼...or rather, to be an obstacle to his/her dreams. 可以話跟這期的 NANA (chapter77) 有點相似. 詩音 (Shion/Yasu's girlfriend), 她說她寧願聽她愛的人說 "thank you" rather than "I love you". But for me, I don't even want the "thank you"...just being able to be of use to the person I love is good enough for me (I think...who knows, when the time actually comes?). So you should be happy that you are not creating difficulties for him. Pray for his happiness and success, and help him (if you can...but don't push it...he may not like it)...假如他知你還設在那麼 upset over him, 而覺得這對你不公平的, 他可能會 feel uncomfortable (especially because you said he is a good person ma~). Wouldn't this make it harder for him? I am not asking you to stop loving him, becasue how can you do that? Please try to think that maybe if you were less sad, it would be better for him too.
既然你已經嘗試過但不能為自己而 stop crying, 不如你就嘗試為他而停吧? Is that a strong enough motivation for you to stop crying for him?
絕對不簡單, I know. But here's another way of looking at it: 其實愛也可以說是一種憧憬, a kind of desire. And, like all desires, if you cannot reach it, you feel down. It's special though, because this desire requires the will of the other person too. Like I said, I have not experienced love properly, so maybe this perception is too shallow. But aren't lovers are happiest when the person they love acts the way they want him/her to (<- another observation from NANA ♥)? 但是如果你是真正愛的, 那你怎麼可以逼對方 do whatever you want? That's why I think there is so much pain in love. Just like the JJ Lin song "愛有萬分之一甜". 你覺得世上有幾多愛情故事 (in real life) 是完美的? 我已經不再相信每個人都有一個 "perfect other". In other words, 假如你是公主也不一定有個王子; 現實不是童話故事嘛. 愛情非一定完美, 亦不是別定的. 既然是這樣子呢, 那為何愛 (between a man and a woman) 是那麼重要的? Hehe, personally, I suspect it's marketing or the underlying biological urges to reproduce =P 我不是說愛請 (between a man and a woman) 是不重要, 只是, 有可能 it's been exaggerated by people. Haha* 不過這不是一個未曾愛過的我有權批評的! Ummmn, how to say leh? 生命是很短的~~就像一瞬間的而已. 就算愛真的是最重要, 在生死之間也有許多其他該珍惜的 things. You are Christian, so you know how life should be treasured (just think of the probability of you not existing, and it's overwhelming!), and 我相信你回頭望是想看到一條 full and beautiful life, full of wonderful moments. Are you satisfied to spend too much time upset because of love? 再加上, 你條命始終都是你的; 我們大慨都獨來獨往. In the end, you will be the one who will ask yourself whether you have lived well or not. 你甘心為一個男人嘥那麼多時光嗎? 我究竟自己想要的都不知道是甚麼, 所以想去追求都不能, 只在蹉跎歲月. 但你不同嘛~ 你已經有一個 passion! 你已經那麼努力, 也經過多麼難關, you have come so far! 如果你現在想他太多而 neglect 你要做的事, 你對得起自己嗎?
I will emphasise again, I know nothing about love. It may, or may not be life's most important thing, but there is one thing. 不管你相信甚麼~~緣分，上世下世，Christianity, or whatever, 但是我想你也會同意 that to meet and get to know someone on this earth, in this life is almost as much as a miracle as being alive itself. Think about it, of all the combinations of DNA, etc. (lol, forgot all my biology), what are the chances of both you, me, and him, being born around the same time? Of the 6 billion-ish people on this earth, what are the chances of you meeting him? 所以，就算是遇上過而已，聊過一陣天而已，單戀過而已，關於他的經力都值珍惜．最重要的就是 prevent love from turning into hate. 因為愛很容易就可以變成恨 (like me and train guy...if that can be called love), 尤其是當你受蠻多苦的時候．Here, another motivation for you to cheer up about him: 若然他不是你得就不是你，那你若是在想他，為他苦哭，也不會讓他愛你吧．反而這種痛可以讓你恨他．是的．恨是比愛更易受，但是你難得可以遇上，愛上他，難道你真的想恨他嗎?
That's all I have to say...sorry if it's a bit confusing and sorry it's so late; I went out for nearly the whole day, and they are confusing ideas...plus typing in Chinese is hard =P Even though one day, I may look back at this and say "what a bunch of crap", I hope this helps to cheer you up, dear!
Listening to Playlist: 24樓~劉若英 & 楊坤, 好想好想~古巨基, 珊湖海~Jay Chou & Lara, 煙雨濛濛~趙薇. Reading The Cloud Atlas ~ Liam Callanan. Watching FLCL.
Filed under Journal.
Whisper or remember?
To Mars for Romance ~ Joey Yung
February 23, 2008, feeling Unaccomplished!.
Hahaha~ isn't this song so applicable to me? xD
去火星戀愛
曲：翁瑋盈
詞：方傑
編：舒文
蒞臨朋友聚會 欣賞到恩愛示範 你有人陪 我卻沒有份
一片平淡 好心問我 找不到男朋友 怎麼可習慣
尷尬地說 寧願將工作一天排到晚
謝謝關心 知我 永沒有驚喜 自問不怎麼丑 孤獨無道理
最怕我父母 追問我婚期 循例作答 沒有機
朋友太多 為甚麼失戀要附和或要哭
總是預我 我夠姊妺 最後你倆言和
為何還談論復康經過 我喜歡我 惋惜有用麼 便能得救麼
找遍全球不果 就在火星觀察 誰容訥我
人來人往 日夜奔波 都嚮往浪漫 我再繁忙
我再沒有空 總有期限 不必問我 找不到男朋友
怎麼可習慣 快說服我 遲些初戀 至可心甜到晚
但是通通都當我是個知己 越是心急偏不出現才合理
我也渴望有轟烈兩星期 誰話我已沒有棋
朋友太多 為什麼失戀了 為甚麼失戀要附和或要哭
總是預我 我夠姊妺 最後你倆言和 為何還談論復康經過
我喜歡我 傷心有用麼 便能得救麼 找遍全球不果
去到火星戀愛 我便會拍拖
手鬆點 可不可 避免每次節慶也得一個
情敵 就在附近 也許都開心過 跟公仔同座
朋友太多 為什麼失戀了 為甚麼失戀要附和或要哭
一定預我 我最得體 我認至會難明 全球男孩為什麼閃過
看清楚我 真的怪異麼 不算可愛麼 走到火星談情
愛我的一位會過來陪伴我 讓我知 上帝原來庇佑我
Meeting with friends, I can enjoy demonstrations of what's it like to be in love;
You have someone to be with, while I have no part in this
It's all the plain old, same old for me;
Friends ask me kindly, how do I, who can't find a boyfriend, get used to it?
I reply a bit embarrassed, "I'd rather spend time on my career".
Thanks for worrying about me, knowing that I have yet to come across a surprise,
I ask myself, I'm not that ugly, there's no reason for my loneliness.
I'm most afraid of my parents, anticipating when will I get married,
I follow set examples replying, "Not a chance".
I have too many friends; why must I always go along with what they say or cry with them when they break up?
They always expect me, I have enough sisters; 2 words later, and you two are fine again.
Why do we still have to talk about you getting over him?
I like myself the way I am, what's the use of sympathy? How will it rescue me from my dilemma?
I've searched all over Earth without success, so I will be on Mars looking who will accept me.
People come and go, rushing night and day, all yearning for romance, while I am still too caught up [with work].
There's a limit to how long I can keep up with "I have no time for this"; please don't ask me, I who can't find a boyfriend,
How do I get used to it? Hurry and convince me that in the end, first love is only sweet to a point.
But everyone just treats me like an intimate friend;
It's only reasonable that the more impatient you are, the less likely it will appear.
I too have looked forward to 2 splendid weeks, who says I'm out of moves?
I have too many friends; why must I always go along with what they say or cry with them when they break up?
They always expect me, I have enough sisters, 2 words later and you two are fine again;
Why do we still have to talk about you getting over him?
I like myself the way I am, so what's there about heartache?
It won't solve anything; I've searched all over Earth and without success.
I will go to Mars for romance, I will go on a date there.
Can I hold on a bit less tightly, to prevent myself from being alone again for the next special day
My opponent in love is just nearby, and maybe I might be just as happy sitting with a stuffed toy
I have too many friends; why must I always go along with what they say or cry with them when they break up?
They always expect me, it's a position most fitting for me, I think it's only hard to understand;
Why must all the guys on this planet just shoot by?
Take a clear look at me, am I weird? Am I not cute? I will go to Mars and experience love.
The one who love me will come and keep me company, letting me know that the Lord has in fact blessed me.
*Chinese lyrics from SinaMusic
Sisters, as in "sistahs", or girlfriends.
Break up as in break up with their boyfriends.
Next special day as in Single Awareness Day, LOL? xDD
Listening to 去火星戀愛~容祖兒. Reading 100 Years of Solitude ~ Gabriel García Márquez. Watching Dal Ja's Spring.
Filed under Review//Translations//Lyrics.
Whisper or remember?
Mplayer + Lush = Destiny??? *so proclaims a spending-happy girl trying to find excuses to buy one~♥*
February 17, 2008, feeling tired.
My m:robe died because its software (one of the very few downsides of the player, and the biggest problem) refused to sync with my revamped Algy, and I had pressed the reset button and tried to very stupidly, upgrade the firmware thinking that the reset would be fine...but of course, it still didn't sync and so it probably has the equivalent of a broken OS now =/ Such a pity since I really liked it very much (it's out of production now). I think I will keep it boxed somewhere and hopefully Rockport or something will have developed a port for the m:robe in the future...though it's doubtful since well, the m:robe line has been discontinued and it's not a new player either. Still, being the shopaholic that I am, I couldn't help looking around at some mp3 players on eBay (not that I think I will be buying one any time soon...I have appointed myself the impossible task of reining in my spending since my sister has gotten a nice iRiver off Bommeow on ebay).
When lo and behold, I come across the Mplayer from iRiver. It's not very practical, and at its eBay price for 1Gig memory, it's not very worth the money either, except it's so cute!!!!!! ^_____^ ~♥*
Some of the promo pics also feature Lush products...I was able to pinpoint those right away (not the names of the products themselves, but that they were Lushies~)...at that rate of zoom/close-up, I think this is a sign that I am a bit too much of a Lush-addict? Or a sign that I am supposed to be buying myself a cute Mplayer?? ^______^
2nd picture from the left: Can't actually tell what it is *so ashamed u.u * Maybe Butterball? Any Lushies out there who can help identify it? >_____<
3rd picture down in the left column: Lush Christmas special *Gren Green Bath of Foam*
3rd picture down in the right column: *Creamy Candy* bubble bar slice
Listening to Dance, Dance ~ Fall Out Boy. Reading 100 Years of Solitude ~ Gabriel García Márquez. Watching Dal Ja's Spring.
Whisper or remember?
I really am supposed to be doing my French assignment but...
February 14, 2008, feeling gyaaah~.
I got distracted again ^___^
I wonder, when we need to put something like WPM speed on resumes and stuff, can we use these as accurate measures?
Listening to Ai Otsuka. Reading A Hundred Years of Solitude ~ Gabriel García Márquez. Watching Dal Ja's Spring.
Filed under Journal.
Whisper or remember?
一個人的行李 ~ Penny Dai
December 16, 2007, feeling .
Not really sure how or when I came across this song, but it was one of those that I do not play much and had thought of deleting at one point (honestly, I think with media being so *ahem* easily accessible nowadays, people - or maybe just me - take them for granted and don't appreciate them so much anymore =/
Anyhoo~ I really like this song, love its carefree rhtym and so self-affirming lyrics. It's a song about contentment and independence and quietly going on (and enjoying) one's way!
Disclaimer: I found the lyrics at http://www.wretch.cc/blog/azzaazzaaz&article_id=18714909
※ I'm free(一個人的行李) 詞曲: Penny
心情好or心情壞 有什麼好假裝
反正天若真的塌下來 我自己扛
天氣好or天氣壞 有什麼好緊張
反正下一秒鐘的我 開始 開始流浪
我要一個人去東京鐵塔看夜景
我要一個人去威尼斯看電影
我要一個人去陽明山上看海芋 拍偶像劇
我要一個人去紐約純粹看雪景
我要一個人去巴黎喝咖啡寫信
我要一個人的旅行 一個人透透氣
向右轉or向左拐 有什麼不一樣
反正每一條未知的路 都有未來
我和誰在談戀愛 有什麼大驚小怪
反正下一秒鐘的我 早已 早已離開
我要一個人在希臘門前蘇格拉底
我要一個人的通宵看完魯迅的背影
我要一個人呆呆的在浴缸裡 思考阮玲玉
我要一個人的北京探望孟姜女
我要一個人的書局和志摩談情
我要一個人的旅行 一個人徹底
心情好or心情壞 有什麼好假裝
一個人的旅行 一個人的行李
一個人的旅行 一個人的空氣
一個人的旅行 一個人到底
My translation:
One Person's Luggage, lyrics by Penny Dai
Whether I'm in a good mood or a bad mood, what's there to pretend about?
Anyway, if the sky really did fall down, I would hold it up myself
Whether the weather's good or the weather's bad, what's there to be anxious about?
Anyway, the me residing in the next second will begin, begin wandering
I want to go by myself to the Tokyo Tower to look at the night scene
I want to go by myself to Venice and watch films
I want to go by myself to the top of Yanming Mountain and see the arums film idol dramas
I want to go by myself to New York and simply see the snowing scenery
I want to go by myself to Paris, drinking coffee and writing letters
I want to go on one person's travels, and take a breath
Turning right or swinging left, what's the difference?
Anyway, every road that hasn't been taken yet has a future
Who I fall in love with, what's there to make a fuss of?
Anyway, the me residing in the next second would have already departed early, early on
I want to go by myself to Greece and meet Socrates
I want to spend by myself the whole night watching Lu Xun's silhouette
I want to sit by myself in the bathtub dazedly contemplating Ruan Ling Yu
I want to go to by myself Beijing and look for the Meng Jiang Nu
I want to go by myself to a bookstore and talk to Zhi Ma about love
I want to go on one person's travels, just one person
Whether I'm in a good mood or a bad mood, what's there to pretend about?
One person's travels, one person's luggage
One person's travels, one person's air
One person's travels, just one person to the end
~Notes: All the figures listed in 2nd verse are literary, intellectual or cultural figures.
Listening to 一個人的行李 ~ Penny Dai. Reading The English Patient ~ Michael Ondaatje.
Filed under Journal, Review//Translations//Lyrics.
Whisper or remember?
